2004-05-03 - 10:33 p.m.
So, I got all my work done. Moving on.
How about tomorrow is my last day of classes and it's almost unbearable. No, I don't mean unbearable to leave. I mean unbearable to stay here. Maybe it's GiRlY problems, but I have been in the worst fucking mood lately and I just want to go home. Even though I get the feeling if I go home I'll just scare and terrorize my parents.
For example. I had this group paper for Humanities. I was the Type/Edit person. I thought that meant everyone would write about their subject, send it to me, I'd paste it together and print it out. But no. These fucking assholes sent me shit copied out of a book and told me to "put it in my own words", like it was MY fucking job. One girl today in class, who didn't contribute anything but I let put her name on it anyway since the final result was so shitty, was like "I called you last night but you didn't answer." Oh, well sorry, bitch. I guess I was off having a life that didn't revolve around you finally doing your homework. And what good did you think calling me the night before the paper was due was gonna do anyway? Were you gonna fucking dictate your plagarism to me? Fuck you. I put together without a doubt the shittiest paper I've ever handed in in my ENTIRE LIFE, and I've handed in shit before. Without a doubt it will have a negative effect on my grade, but right now I don't even care. Here's where it gets worse. These two bitches in my group, who I have sat next to the entire semester but never spoken to, have the fucking audacity to ask, no, actually they didn't ask, ASSUME I would let them borrow my book to study for the final because they didn't buy it. They didn't even ask! They were like "I'll call you around 9 and we'll set something up. And I'm free Wednesday." Without even asking. I let this one bitch drag me to the library to make photocopies of my book, and she took her god damn fucking sweet ass time, I've never seen anyone make copies that slow. And the other girl who was supposed to call me at 9? Yeah, I unpluggeed my phone. Fuck you, bitch. It reminds me of how people treated me in high school, thinking that just because I'm quiet they can walk the fuck all over me. Just the way they talked to me, not even looking at me, being snobby and thinking I was the class geek just because I bought the fuckin book and they didn't. Well FUCK YOU, I don't let anyone treat me like that anymore. Fail the godamn final for all I fucking care.
See, this is the kind of shit that pushes me over the edge. I just want to sit in my room and fall asleep and miss being home and cry. I can't take this anymore. I'm too much of a worrier and a dreader. For example. I've done double overnights what, a million times? I have one tomorrow night, and the very fleeting thought of it is making me queasy. I have to work this weekend as well and I'm already dreading the boredom and the sitting around, even though when I'm actually there, I'm usually not bored. I don't know what my fuckin problem is.
I hope I can fall asleep soon cause I'm really fuckin tired of being awake.
